Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
