I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Randomize
