Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
