yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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