dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
don't judge my taste in strippers
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
