My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize