So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize