i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
