she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
