Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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