I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
