i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
