Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
