so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
