i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You've changed since you got that strap on
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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