watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
did i walk over a car last night?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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