I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
