Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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