He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
