Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
