Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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