so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
