There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
