Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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