I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
