VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just found a bag of teeth...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
