Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
