I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He passed out mid-signature
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
