I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
