Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize