My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
