I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
