omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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