You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I love you.
Bad choice
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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