Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
