I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
