There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
