He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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