This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
