Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
