You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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