It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
