So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
