if you like me you must not know who I am
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
