the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
