that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
