Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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