I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
