did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
