Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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