I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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