I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
