How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
