omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
