No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
