And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
