dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
