I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
