Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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