Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
