Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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