I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I could make wine with my vomit
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
