I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Girls should come with a carfax report
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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