i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize